Hey there, long time no see. I’m still very alive, only more busy than before (if that’s even possible). My health is kinda letting me down. I have almost daily headaches and my tummy hurts a lot of the time and then there is the feeling of being dizzy and wanting to throw up. And it is all because of the stress. Well let’s say STRESS! Maybe it’s just school or other shit going on, but I can’t wait for it to pass by. This is also the main reason why I didn’t post my blog in february (yess I remember promising to post every month haha). *apologizes frequently*
While I was going through my notes I found this text I wrote, and named ‘the heart minds’. It was a good reminder for me, since I can be holding on to negative feelings when things are not as delightfull as they used to be. So this text was an eye opener for my relationship now, it made me think. I realised how much of a difficult type I can be. I know it is because of my health and stress that I can not handle my emotions very well all the time. I am finding ways to deal with anger (like excercising and darts) and am now looking for ways to reduce my stress (already tried like a thousand things, but the key is to never give up, right?).
So here I am, an unhealthy wreck of a stress bomb, posting a love letter (I probably won’t send to the person it is about). Isn’t it ironic?!
Anyways I hope you like it and it means something to you in any kind of way. Feel free to let me know what your opinions are on this.
The Heart minds
They say nothing is forever. That everything comes and goes like waves. But I will prove them wrong. Because this is a feeling that can not die. It can not fade. It is always there and will not leave. Cause you have got a place in my heart. And for as long as my heart is ticking these feelings will remain. No matter what happens. You make me feel more alive than before. My life is a lot more valuable with you in it. It went to a next level, including feelings. Feelings I did not even know those feelings existed. But I feel them. I carry them. It makes it brighter. And it is all because of you. We started off with quite some differences. But now I see the things we have in common. I see how we match. You make the difference. You are special to me. No words could explain how far my feelings for you go. Or how much you are worth to me. I try to tell you sometimes. But it is probably best visible when I look at you and smile for no special reason. Just becaus you are there. When I get a text from you and people say they already know it is you. Because you make me smile. Even when I think I am not able to smile in some moments. You know how to calm me down. While no one ever managed to do so. You give me a peacefull feeling. I am comfortable around you and more relaxed. And because of all that you are probably the one who can get me mad and sad. Cause if you hurt me, even when you don’t mean to, it makes ma scared to lose you. Cause I can not live without you. I can not even imagine you not being in my life. I do not want to imagine. I never want to lose you. And even if I do for some reason, I will never stop loving you. You are in my heart for always and forever. And if there is an afterlife I truly hope you are there too. I will wait for you there. Forever yours.
Have a good week🍀
Lots of love,